00h UTC; TUESDAY, 11 SEPTEMBER 2012: As Hate Week 2012 continues onward in its Elmer Gantryite orgy of Archie Bunker/Alf Garnett-model bigotry, nativism and xenophobic jingoism rivalled for debauchery only by North Korea in its Luscious Glory of Self-Reliant, People-Centred Jucheism among Those of a Certain Class (for the most part low and worse), Your Correspondent perhaps felt it might be more interesting if he dwelt on a sort of fantasy he had fermenting in his mind the other night:

As in the prospect of The Four Lads' 1956 ballad "Moments to Remember" being covered by Elmer Fudd in his rather hilarious dialect so the title comes out "Moments to Wemember," for hilarious effect more than anything.

Or, better still: Imagine the prospect of the old Buster Brown TV programme (as hosted by Smilin' Ed O'Connell between 1950 and his shock heart-attack death in 1954, to be replaced within due course by Andy Devine until it left the air in 1960), in its Luscious Glory of low-budget campiness, being hilariously depantsed, as it were, by:
  • The week's story from "Smilin' Ed's/Andy's Storybook" suddenly (and spontaneously) calling to mind a certain Monty Python sketch in this same general vein;
  • Froggy the Gremlin, having been introduced with that well-known entrance cue of "Pluck your magic twanger, Froggie!" (and arriving in a smoke bomb's haze), having gone through his traditional dialogue ("Hiya! Hiya!") with the host, really going butch when he suddenly breaks out into lip-synching "Gimme Dat Ting" by Pipkin, vintage 1970 (in fact, those opening lines sound rather like Froggie, no?);
  • Gunga Ram's portion of the show suddenly metablising into a rather lavish Bollywood musical routine crossing into the campy (complete with cameos by top Bollywood stars like Shah Rukh Khan, Madhuri Dixit and Juhi Chuwla); and
  • Midnight the Cat's violin-playing segment becoming LOLcat City without warning (cf. such episodes of Jack Benny's radio program as have Professor LeBlanc giving Benny his weekly violin lesson, complete with Pepe LePew accent);
all mercifully (or close to it) cut short by a carefully-placed "interruption" of the "we are experiencing technical difficulties; please stand by" stylee, with background music of the Mantovani sort ("Charmaine," perhaps his best-known number, being a worthwhile choice) or, if unavailable, the lighter sounds of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass ... and as the show draws to another week's close with the admonishment not to forget church or Sunday school, the whole suddenly gets cut off with "Now, don't forget--", to be followed by a black screen for a few moments ...

To be replaced with some video of someone driving on the Interstate towards Wisconsin Dells, the backing music being "The Radio's On" by the Dutch band Promises (vintage 1978-79), an occasional staple on the online reincarnations of the pirate stations Radio Northsea International and Britain Radio 355 (you just have to listen to their online streams at the right moment), fading at the end into....

(BTW, readers, just be lucky you're reaching this weblog, what with the hack attack afflicting GoDaddy-hosted websites from this afterlunch on.)



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