00h UTC; SATURDAY, 12 OCTOBER 2013: As is inevitable every year at this time, the annual Elmer Gantryite religiopolitical confab known as the "Values Voter Summit", sponsored by a consilium of Religiopolitical Right groups seeking to "win over hearts and minds" to an agenda modelled, for all we know, on apartheid South Africa, features all manner of religiopolitical wingnuttia galore as is worth exposing to The Great Disinfectants of air and sunlight.

Already, our good friends at Right Wing Watch have made note of comments thereby made by the ilk of Senator Mike Lee (GOP/UT), Senator Ted Cruz (GOP/TX), Senator Marco Rubio (GOP/FL), conservative talkback prolefeeder Mark Levin, Ben Carson, End Times/Latter Rain zealot Joel Rosenberg, Louis Gohmert, Congresslady Michelle Bachmann (GOP/MN), the Family Research Council's Gary Bauer, AmeriKKKan Family Association talkback radio host Sandy Rios and former Congressman >Rick Santorum, all replete with gross exaggerations, lies, half-truths and outright sky-pilot prolefeed targeting the so-called "REAL AmeriKKKan" (as in the "poor white") in his Luscious Glory of poverty, fecundity and ignorance which can be easily and readily manipulated to the extent deemed necessary by prevailing conditions and circumstances.

With the requisite appeals to True Patriot Love Thou Dost in Us Command reeking of manufactured emotion, what with the "REAL AmeriKKKan" brand of patriotism being rather crude, simple and easily exploited, itself a byproduct of his unfortunate state which Fate has reduced him to. And conservative prolefeeders, try as they might to package themselves as the Voice and Conscience of "REAL AmeriKKKa" as will be Their Rescue and Salvation, will insist (howbeit privately) that they so remain.

So how exactly is free public education "selling gay behaviour" to American schoolchildren, as conservative Christian talkback radio host Linda Harvey claimeth the other day? Such has to make you wonder if the Christelik Nasionale Onderwys-model homeschooling curriculum endorsed by the Christian Right also calls for the promotion of La Vie Simple, a/k/a "Biological Living," as promoted by Dr. John Harvey Kellogg (1852-1943) at his Battle Creek Sanitarium, itself originally established by the Seventh-Day Adventists as a hydrotherapy institute but later divorced therefrom, yet still promoting health and dietary reforms based on Adventist teachings including:
  • Abstinence from alcohol, tobacco, caffeine and meats;
  • A vegetarian diet emphasising whole grains, nuts and dairy products (Kellogg would later come out with a pamphlet entitled "Nuts May Save the Race," which suggested the cultivation and consumption of nuts as a solution to potential global food shortages);
  • Regular yoghurt enemas;
  • Vigorous physical and deep-breathing exercises; and
  • Strict carnal abstinence, particularly when it came to masturbation (Kellogg was rather fond of recommending circumcision in young boys to discourage "self-abuse" and, if that didn't work, sewing up the prepuce over the foreskin to prevent erections; in the case of young girls suspected of "sexual hysteria," he recommended a few drops of pure carbolic acid to the clitoris).
In perhaps Dr. Kellogg's most famous work, Plain Facts for Old and Young (first published in 1877 and remaining in print until at least 1917), he gave plenty of space to the very notion of masturbation being a Danger to Health and Morals, opening a chapter devoted to "Self-Abuse" (as masturbation was euphemistically referred to in Victorian and Edwardian times) in these terms (via Wikipedia):
After having duly considered the causes and effects of this terrible evil, the question next in order for consideration is, How shall it be cured? When a person has, through ignorance or weakness, brought upon himself the terrible effects described, how shall he find relief from his ills, if restoration is possible? To the answer of these inquiries, most of the remaining pages of this work will be devoted. But before entering upon a description of methods of cure, a brief consideration of the subject of prevention of the habit will be in order.
As if that weren't paranoid enough, Dr. Kellogg's creation of corn and wheat flakes (which eventually led to a rather nasty business spat with his brother, Will Keith Kellogg, over whether such should be sweetened and the marketing therefor) was seen as one with preempting "carnal desires" in Impressionable Youth as risked their being psychologically destructive to the point of maniacal ... which Dr. Kellogg blamed on the hot breakfasts then considered the norm. (Dr. Kellogg did not invent ready-to-eat breakfast cereals per se; in 1863, Dr. James Caleb Jackson created a whole-grain cereal he sold as "Granula.")

But before too long, Battle Creek, Michigan would become quite the Mecca for cereal companies, 44 of which would be incorporated in the early 1900's to take advantage of its repute as a health resort ... of which perhaps the most famous survivors were Kellogg's (of course) and Post Cereals, the latter founded by a former Battle Creek Sanitarium dyspepsia patient by name of C. W. Post and eventually came out with Postum, a grain- and molasses-based coffee substitute ("It Makes Red Blood"), Grape-Nuts ("There's a Reason") and Post Toasties ("The Memory Lingers"), originally marketed as Elijah's Manna until Fundamentalist religious leaders objected rather loudly to such blasphemy of the Old Testament prophet and the British refused to extend trademark protection. In any event, Battle Creek's attraction as a health-food center, and the mania to cash in on the craze, was enough to prompt satiric jabs such as this from Chicago Tribune editorial cartoonist John T. McCutcheon, which Kellogg's would later use in its own advertising to warn against imitators with names like Malta-Vita, Per-Fo, Cero-Fruito, Try-A-Vita and suchlike:

In the immortal words of the late John Cameron Swayze
as concluded every broadcast
of the Camel News Caravan (NBC-TV, 1949-1956),
"That's the story; glad we could get together ..."


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