00h UTC; FRIDAY, 7 DECEMBER 2012: Exactly a fortnight now before what some among especially the weird and unwholesome will insist is The End of the World (based, it turns out, on a misreading and interpretation of the Mayan calendar cycle), and the lunatics can expect to be drooling overtime in their Luscious Glory of anticipation over What Will Happen Next. Which, for all we know, may actually be a non sequiteur of the most commonplace order.

By now, you've heard where the Canadian unit of Pizza Hut will be sending out to 110 randomly-selected people between St. John's and Whitehorse small vials of Pizza Hut Odie Colonie, the scent of which is being described as a hybrid of pizza dough fresh out of the proofing ovens and seasonings commonly used. The which has Your Correspondent imagining the possibilities of Odies Colonies inspired by some of the more popular and yet campy "shoobie traps" across the country such as:
  • Atlantic City Boardwalk, a tangy combination of "sea air and sunshine" (to borrow from an old slogan for Fralinger's Salt Water Taffy, hints of which could likely be incorporated) accented with tobacco fumes from the casinos along The Boardwalk, sun lotion and ozone;
  • Gatlinburg, combining the heady Southern aromas of gum pine, auto exhaust, all-you-can-eat buffets, lemon oil furniture polish commonly used on church pews, fried-chicken shops, Krispy Kreme Donuts' coffee and Walmart Great Value Disinfectant;
  • Branson, an intriguing and beguiling scent of sandalwood room fresheners, pine, the deepest recesses of show caverns, auto exhaust, dough used in the legendary tossed rolls at some buffet places, twice-annual "turnover" of the Tri-Lakes (where the warmer and colder waters swap places, as it were), Walmart Great Value Disinfectant and strong BBQ sauce, with subtleties of jasmine and magnolia;
  • Wisconsin Dells, whose enticing aromas remind the wearer of of waterpark and motel swimming-pool chlorine, pine trees on the warmest of summer days, lilacs, the legendary grill at Monk's Bar, fudge cooking away in copper kettles, hickory smoke such as used by House of Embers in soking their ribs and fresh-popped popcorn, with subtle hints of diesel exhaust from the Original Wisconsin Ducks and trailing arbutus blossoms;
  • Seattle, with heady overtures of the fish and seafood section of Pike Place Market, exhaust from the Washington State Ferries idling at Colman Dock, espresso coffee fresh from the roaster, sea mist tinctured with coastal rain and rhodenderon blossoms; and
  • Motherbu, redolent with the aromas of seaweed washed up upon the beach, hot sand at midday, ozone, neoprene wetsuits getting their first workout among the surfers wearing them, new surfboards getting broken in, surfboard wax and sunblock.
What you may think, I will leave to you to leave in the Comments.

No wonder the GOP's hard-wired delusional debaucheries over the Fiscal Cliff's imminence, made all the worse by calls for "Tea Party II" "just in case," are enough to make you wonder if, howbeit secretly and among its Inner Circle, their real socioeconomic rescue agenda is actually one expected to be organic. Spontaneous. "People-centred," even, expected all along to eschew State or charitable relief in favour of spontaneous, fanatically hard-wired even, appeals to not so much Moral Suasion as to an idealised Class Consciousness among the so-called "REAL AmeriKKKan" to contribute, out of True Patriot Love Thou Dost in Us Command, their "idle monies" unto hastily-arranged "campaigns" to channel said monies into Reddingsdaadfonds ("Rescue Action Fund") as would (in theory) leverage such funds raised into "productive capital" serving ekonomesie vryheid met Amerikaanse eienskappe "gebore ons die Volk, die Volk te dien" towards jobs creation rather than simple wealth creation (cf. the Afrikaner Nationalist concept of Volkskapitalisme, the "people's capitalism" expected to place the Afrikaner Volk unto their rightful place of Luscious Glory socioeconomically as "payback" for years of British atrocities and contempt towards the Afrikaner, as per the Eerste Ekonomesie Volkskongres of October 1939).

Papa John's Pizza and now Darden Restaurants (as in the likes of Red Lobster, Olive Garden and Longhorn Steakhouse, to mention the more familiar brands thereof), realising the sting of public opinion turning against them after their respective announcements of putting their workers on short shifts to avoid corporate liability for providing employee health cover per ObamaCare mandates (and translating into boycott threats in the process), have judiciously and wisely reversed course. Let's just hope Walmart starts following suit within measurable distance ... along with paying a decent wage to its Associates as actually manages to get them off relief for once when their corporate agenda is one of contempt for such thus "enslaved" to the point of being "unwilling to find work" when, in fact--
  • the good-paying jobs are unlikely to be available stateside thanks to the GOP's doublethink-heavy ideology and articles of faith as puts paid to the whole idea of finding work; and
  • such a dearth of more conventional job opportunities is providing fertile ground for scam operators as know how to exploit the Lower Classes to unscrupulous or otherwise harmful advantage (in particular the likes of "multi-level marketing," "reshipper," "mystery shopper" and more traditional homework scams such as "home mailing," where those involved fail to explain why such cannot be handled at this time by a mailroom service with its economies of automation and scale up front).
In the interim, Walmart continues deserving of boycott by the Good Taxpayers who fail to realise it's their monies as are excusing such penury at the expense of corporate profits, enow so as to deserve someone sending them a Please Explain Letter to ask why Walmart cannot simply draw on its own corporate resources and profits to construct new stores and pay its workers decent wages.


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