22h22 UTC; MONDAY, 7 APRIL 2014: During my annual visit over to The SPAM Museum of Austin, MN (which, for the curious, is 489 miles east of Wall Drug and 365 miles west of The Once and Future Waterpark Capital of the World--more of a concession so Mein Innkeeper Friend, who has an accountant in Austin do his taxes every year at this time, can have company--said Innkeeper Friend and moi thought up a few gems and jewels emerging of what Your Correspondent wishes to call "SPAMspeak" for want of anything better (essentially in the mould of "Smurfspeak," as per The Smurfs, if you still recall the three-apple-high little folk from the early 1980's).

Judge for yourself if what we have here is the seed of something fellow SPAM lovers can develop and stretch the limits of:
  • SPAMfluenza
  • SPAMethyst
  • SPAMpalooza
  • "This is SPAMal Tap" (basically a spoof on This Is Spinal Tap)
  • SPAMffluence
  • SPAMghetti
  • SPAMerooni
  • SPAMaroni
  • SPAMicrowave Oven
  • SPAMerald
  • SPAMoween
  • SPAMapendence Day
  • All SAPMMed Out
  • Candid SPAMera
  • SPAMera Obscura
  • SPAM-a-lang-a-ding-dong
  • SPAMvertible
  • SPAMorhorrea
  • SPAMdrome
I admit this may be but the beginning, but I sincerely hope that fellow SPAM junkies out there may be thereby inspired to come up with their new and original takes on SPAM, all the while respecting the trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation (and, with it, SPAM's good name and repute); hence, share this post (responsibly, remember) with your fellow SPAMheads.

Too, I should add that this is wholly unofficial and just for fun; Hormel has in no way authorised or endorsed this little endeavour of mine, and should they choose to respond at One Hormel Plaza, let them respond as they may best deem fit and proper. (I should add in passing that given my pre-diabetic state of affairs, I'm pretty much confined to SPAM Lite and SPAM Oven-Roasted Turkey.)

"What will happen NEXT?!"
Log in tomorrow--and FIND OUT!!!

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