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00h UTC; FRIDAY, 5 OCTOBER 2012: Your Correspondent should like to explain at this time that the inspiration for the title of today's post is a play on the campy science-fiction stinkola Plan 9 From Outer Space (1958), regarded by critics as perhaps the single worst film ever made for reasons such as these:
  • Bela Lugosi, who was to star in the film, died three days into production, forcing producer/director Ed Wood to use as stand-in his wife's chiropodist.
  • The production budget being rather abysmal to the extent of the "headstones" in the cemetery scene being cardboard as tipped over more often than not and the "UFO's" actually being aluminum pie plates suspended from wires.
  • The writing and dialogue ("All you of Earth--are IDIOTS!!" being a classic example).
  • A burning desire on Ed Wood's part to use the profits from low-budget productions such as this to eventually produce a series of Biblical epics; unfortunately, bad reviews from the critics meant the film tanking quickly and eventually being relegated to the weekend late-night horror and schlock fests on local TV.
That, and the possibly dubious Mormon belief holding that God is resident on Planet Kolob (wherever THAT is in our solar system) with his brides and handmaidens and maidservants preparatory to His Return to Reestablish the New Zion on Earth--which, come to think of it, probably belongs on its own Bizarro World of Planet Bolok (which, know, is Kolob spelled backwards); those of you among the Mormon persuasion as can explain this God-is-on-Kolob issue are advised to offer up your comments in this respect.

Meanwhile, back at the Lard Lad Donut Shop, here's what they ought to be discussing instead of the manufactured pablum Fox News Channel and other conservative prolefeed conduits insist ought be worth discussion:
  • How do we know certain of these same conservative prolefeeders aren't starting to get ideas about the closed-door vow of Congressional RepubliKKKans not to cooperate with President Obama on The Real Issues so as to hasten socioeconomic collapse and prevent the reelection thereof being on a par with Die Gelofte of the Voortrekker Laager before the Battle of Blood River on 16 December 1838--i.e., as a Holy and Sacred Hour of National Unity and Cohesion?
  • If British inventor James Dyson can make a name for himself with his digital-motor technology for small household appliances (especially so vacuum cleaners and bladeless fans), thereby producing significant energy savings in the process, we'd love to see digital motor technology applied to automobiles, trucks and buses/motorcoaches with an eye towards improving fuel economy (especially when you have fuel-cell technology in the bargain).
  • No wonder conservative prolefeeders looking for that elusive October Surprise of the "big lie" school as can sway the election against President Obama must be on the same par as a certain Candace Flynn on the Disney Channel series Phineas and Ferb, perennially seeking to "bust" her two younger brothers for pulling off some sort of misadventure otherwise intended to kill idle time during the summer schools break--only to have her attempts backfire thanks to some sort of mishap. (Even more interesting: Candace's best friend happens to be Vanessa Doofenschmirz, daughter of evil genius Professor Heinz Doofenschmirz, Pontifex Maximus of Doofenschmirz Evil, Inc., and affiliated companies.)
  • "AmeriKKKa Should Be More Like China" department: Official statisticians with the People's Republic of China hath it, by way of the 18th Chinese Communist Party Congress in Beijing, that Chinese economic growth has actually weakened seriously in the last statistical year, with numerous malls and apartment blocks lying vacant in several major cities, export markets in the United States and Europe in recession, substantial unsold inventories unable to be unloaded even upon the domestic market and wholesale corruption and mismanagement endemic socioeconomically.
  • See if this doesn't get laughs: Try saying "Hudson Cream" in that slightly-naughty-and-at-once-suggestive tone of voice which could perhaps be a hybrid of Jessica from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? and "Miss Monitor" (t/n Tedi Thurman, who passed away recently), as in the weather reports on NBC Radio's gone-but-not-forgotten weekend anthology Monitor until about the mid-1960's while Mantovani or 101 Strings played in the background ... then, after a Reasonable Pause of Time, deflate the suspense by saying "Flour" in your normal stylee of speech. (And I just hope those who manage to read this in Hudson, KS, whence Hudson Cream Flour originates--or in its plum market areas of the Upper Ohio Valley, Appalachia and the Alleghennies--don't get angry at moi in the process.)
And who's calling out GOP Presidential wannabe Mitt Romney for all the lies, distortions of fact, prolefeed even, as were unleashed in last night's AmeriKKKan Presidential Debate, as well as the stylee thereof? Such ought be called out all the more in the public and sovereign interest.

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