If reports are true of wholesale drunkenness and the reek of John Barleycorn's byproducts in the House of Reprehensibles' chamber as same prepared to, in essence, bring Thy Dear and Lovely Land to her knees at the risk of the "New World Order" goose-stepping it underfoot, not unlike Sherman's March to the Sea during the Civil War (only this time singing "Le Boudin" rather than "Marching Through Georgia" in loud and obnoxious stylee), then Real America--and I mean the actual, physical version as opposed to the prolefeed simulation such as conservative prolefeeders love trotting out, largely the worst specimens of "poor whiteism" known this side of Depression-era South Africa as stoked the fanaticism of Afrikaner Nationalism--ought become outraged and disgusted.

And well they should be.

Especially because it's likely that such legislation, and the legality thereof, can be challenged because of clear and present evidence of intoxication galore influencing such a vote as may, in due course, be the first step in the demise of Thy Dear and Lovely Land. (Too, you also have the "Tea Party" element, whose delegation in Congress was all the more likely intemperate, being the most likely to have been seen in Tipium Grove beforehand--and wondering how they would react to such outrageous actions.)

Come to think of it, Benjamin Franklin has plenty of synonyms (or, as he described them, "round-about phrases") for drunkenness and intemperance galore as would apply to the Reprehensibles seeking to sell out the AmeriKKKan People and Nation like Esau sold his birthright to Jacob for bread and lentil pottage, and which may best apply in the circumstances. And which may want to be worth using in so challenging in the ensuing prolefeed debate. Some especially interesting specimens thereof I find interesting include:
  • "drunk as Davy's Sow"
  • "cast up his accounts"
  • "fears no man"
  • "been to France/at an Indian feast/to Jericho/in the cellar/to a funeral/with Sir John Goa"
  • "in Tipium Grove"
  • "halfway to Concord"
  • "loose in the hilt"
  • "concerned"
  • "got a brass eye/the Indian vapours/the gout"
  • "killed a dog"
  • "in his element"
  • "soaked"
  • "soft"
  • "his shoe pinches him"
  • "knows not the way home"
  • "has taken Hippocrates' Grand Elixir"
  • "eat[s] opium"
  • "as good conditioned as a puppy"
  • "religious"
  • "been too free with Sir John Strawberry"
  • "Prince Eugene"
  • "froze his mouth"
  • "mellow"
  • "half-seas over"
  • "swallow'd a tavern-token"
  • "eat a pudding-bagg"
  • "owes no man a farthing"
  • "like a rat in trouble"
  • "sold his senses"
  • "made an example"
  • "makes Virginia fence"
  • "oxycrocium"
  • "took his drops"
  • "sees the bears/two moons/the devil/the French King"
  • "heat his copper"
  • "Sir Richard has taken off his considering-cap"
In any event, Benjamin Franklin closed out this "Drinker's Dictionary" (as published in his Pennsylvania Gazette on 13 January 1737) with this observation (spelling, capitalisation and punctuation from the original):
The Phrases in this Dictionary are not (like most of our Terms of Art) borrow’d from Foreign Languages, neither are they collected from the Writings of the Learned in our own, but gather’d wholly from the modern Tavern-Conversation of Tiplers. I do not doubt but that there are many more in use; and I was even tempted to add a new one my self under the Letter B, to wit, Brutify’d: But upon Consideration, I fear’d being guilty of Injustice to the Brute Creation, if I represented Drunkenness as a beastly Vice, since, ’tis well-known, that the Brutes are in general a very sober sort of People.
So, ye who see yourselves as the Real Americans among thyselves--let outrage commence.

Especially if there could be valid grounds for voiding the whole proceedings because of intemperance.

In the immortal words of the late John Cameron Swayze
as concluded every broadcast
of the Camel News Caravan (NBC-TV, 1949-1956),
"That's the story; glad we could get together ..."


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