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00h UTC; SATURDAY, 14 JULY 2012: In public, those on the Right seeing themselves as "culture warriors" (howbeit in their own minds, and for their own delusional Luscious Glory above all else) want to use the so-called "music shows" of Branson as a more realistically AmeriKKKan litmus defining test for what constitutes an ideal Amerikanischer Leikultur as "reflects our National Character and Identity" from a so-called "REAL AmeriKKKan" standpoint and perspective, New York and Hollywood perennially being seen as an Axis of Evil as Threatens Our Dear Lovely Nation (with the usual anti-Semitic canards and platitudes included to reinforce the message as required).

But in Reality, however, their Acme and Ideal of "REAL AmeriKKKan Culture" is one, unfortunately, as is inconsistent with their overzealous morality of the "what-will-Mrs.-Grundy-think?" school excusing the necessity (so they think) for using Branson as the cultural acid test: When all is said and done, a more realistic model of "REAL AmeriKKKan Culture" expected to draw upon the idealised rural Arcadia as is its fountainhead and ideal is actually one that's rather base and vulgar.

One as is overzealously male chauvinist, unlikely to be overheard in mixed company (especially important, what with this more accurate ideal of Realkultur having as its milieu the likes of the Sidetrack Tap and the Chatterbox Cafe back in Lake Wobegon, especially when it's all-male company in a Luscious Glory of male chauvinism revolving around Key overalls, seed-corn gimme caps, oily-tasting coffee and a liberal use of the Seven Dirty Words and their variants).

One handed down through the generations, as it were, of "barnyard talk" tending heavily to sexual matters, in particular stories of the "travelling salesman and farmer's daughter" genre and such involving dumber-than-dirt farmers having dirt-poor farms themselves too often reduced to having sex with the cows out of sexual frustration with the wife (expected to pretend that nothing unusual is happening). Not to mention ethnic humour playing up stereotyped traits of character common to particular ethnic groups (e.g., here in the Midwest, traditionally popular targets for ethnic jokes are Germans, Scandinavians [as in the "Ole and Lena" brand of joke] and Poles).

And more often than not, such "traditional 'REAL AmeriKKKan' folk culture" is of the oral tradition, handed down from father to son, and so on, and so on; any written collections thereof more than likely being For Private Circulation in discreet ring binders of crudely-mimeographed pages of curiosa, jokes, ballads, poems and songs galore, with the occasional cartoon to break up the monotony in English Seaside Postcard stylee, or otherwise involving popular TV or film cartoon characters committing Lewd Acts or otherwise in some stage of undress (as opposed to the likes of such collections of "reliques" common in Great Britain drawing upon manuscripts of collected folk verse as themselves oft crossed into the bawdy; take, for example, the Bannatyne Manuscript, now in the National Library of Scotland's collections, whence the raunchy Scots dramatist and poet Allan Ramsey drew upon for his 1732 collection entitled The Ever Green: A Collection of Poems Wrote by the Ingenuous Scots Before 1700--howbeit with many of the poems containing what Victorian- and Edwardian-era editors would call "necessary omissions", evidenced with lines of asterisks to cover up the indecencies in the original).

So much for calling yourselves Kulturkriegsmanne in the first place....

*************

As if this rather realistically raunchy ideal of Amerikanischer Realkultur wasn't bad enough, it looks as if the Faux network's talent search American Idol may be on the skids heading into its 12th series as debuts next January: After two seasons on the judges' panel thereof, Steven Tyler has announced he will not be returning for the new series ... and as if that weren't desperate enow, J-Lo is reportedly thinking of also leaving. Add in declining ratings for the last few series thereof, and you can just imagine what American Idol REALLY needs to show "REAL AmeriKKKa" what a farce it's become when the new series thereof begins:

Videlicet, someone with the raspiest, the most hyperjuvenile, the most annoyingly grating on the ears sort of singing voice who can be kept on week after week thanks to the careful leveraging of social media, eventually winning the Grand Prize at the end of $1 million and a recording contract. (Think here a vocal hybrid of The Cherry Sisters, Florence Foster Jenkins and Alessandro Moreschi, all rather awful-sounding in their own right, and you get the ideal contestant to show up American Idol as the farce that it's become and becoming. Moreschi in particular; "the Last Castrato" [1856-1922] was the only example of such a hilariously barbaric choral music tradition to have his singing voice recorded for posterity, never mind that the recording technology employed back in 1907 was rather primitive by today's standards, confounding even Gadget Hackwrench.)

Something to think about.



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